The LambCutlet Disorganisation

As much as I like Microsoft’s recently released Windows Vista as an improvement over Windows XP (though ironically, “vista” means “chicken” in Latvian :P) and using it right now (the pre-release Release Candidate 2 version, having registered for the Community Preview Program back in 2006), it has chronically pissed me off that even though the current exchange rate between the mighty Pound Sterling and worthless American Dollar is 1-to-1.95, the historic “1-to-1” rate for electronics and software compared to the States is still alive and well… thus sparking the following petition by Paul Milne to pressure the Right Honourable Tony Blair, to pressure Microsoft:

There is a huge difference in the price that people in the US and the UK are paying for Windows Vista the new Microsoft Operating System. As an example of this, in the UK a full copy of Vista Ultimate would cost you £350, in the US it would cost you £195. The US version of Vista is exactly the same as the UK version. There is no difference. Therefore I can see no reason for there to be such a huge difference in prices between the UK and the US other than Microsofts belief that the UK customers will pay more than their US counterparts. I ask people to sign this petition in the hope that the Prime Minister will bring pressure to bear on Microsoft over their pricing as it is my belief they are simply overcharging the people of the UK and therefore are ripping us off.

Indeed, this over charging isn’t just endemic within Blighty, as it has also infected our EuroDisneyLand counterparts on the mainland European Union with France and Germany paying an even more rip-off-tastic €550 (£370)! Curiously, in Japan, a full retail copy of Windows Vista Ultimate is an apparently eye-watering ¥47,500… till you realise that translates to £200 (€300), more or less exactly the same price as those in America. So what the fucking fuck is going on? Europe (and apparently Oceania) have to subsidise the cost of Windows for America and Japan? Kill two birds with one stone and give both Mr. Blair and Mr. Gates a good kick up the backside by signing the petition (assuming you are a citizen of her Majesty Lizzy Windsor, naturally).

I’ve seen many many oddball things on the Internet, though never would have thought I’d come across anything that’d evoke childhood memories of 香港 (Hong Kong) visiting friends & relatives of my late mother on the crowded government housing estates where there was a constant cacophony of various Chinese dialects that often sounded like quarrelling (you could never really tell) along with recollections of little old ladies practising Chinese folk religion with a bit of 打小人 (Hit the little man) by the street-side whilst burning joss sticks & joss paper. :D

The YouTube video I stumbled across (above) is actually a bit of slapstick-come-observational comedy from Singapore, the other ex-British colonial outpost and is really rather hilarious even if you don’t know any of the Chinese dialects. I’d probably consider it “not work safe” on the basis you may be in stitches laughing like an idiot which may prove detrimental to your job. :P

Ignore the first minute where it’s some (unfortunately rather catchy) Mandarin song which features two of the actors in the sketch that follows. The woman actually starts the 打小人 (Hit the little man) proper in English followed by the man doing the same in Malay! Then cometh the Chinese dialects, which if I’m not mistaken include 閩南語 (Hokkien), 廣東話 (Cantonese), 海南話 (Hainanese) and 福州話 (Hokchew/Fukkien).

The 廣東話 (Cantonese) bit, spoken by the woman is if I’m not mistaken:

打你個死人頭！打死你唔出頭！打你個死人口！打到你爛死嘴！打到你全身爛晒！打到你全家……瞓低！打！打！打！

… translates (roughly) to:

Hit you on your damn head! Hit you till retract your head (like a tortoise)! Hit you on your damn mouth! Hit you till your damn lips are busted! Hit you till your body is all broken! Hit all your family until they are in a coma! Hit! Hit! Hit!

Then the man replies (in 廣東話 (Cantonese), though seemingly with a heavy 潮州話 (Teochew) accent) chastising the woman on what an evil vindictive person she is! Rinse, wash, repeat! :D